The most telling line in the Assassin's Creed film, based on the video games of the same name, comes about midway through the film. Our hero, Callum Lynch (Michael Fassbender), is bombarded by nonsensical comments while trying to eat his lunch. After he's left alone for a moment, he chuckles to himself—the first and only time he does so in an organic fashion through the whole movie—before exclaiming, "What the fuck is going on?"
I'm shocked that the filmmakers left this moment in the film, seeing as how Assassin's Creed's every element—the plot beats, the characters' decisions, the logical leaps—begs such a question. Assassin's Creed has the dubious honor of combining ho-hum action sequences, half-baked characters, and a script no larger than a doctor's free pamphlet. The results leave both series fans and curious passersby with nothing to sink their hidden blades into.
Apple of no one's eye
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